Through our conversation, I started to wonder about my family back home.
If I’m honest, I intentionally did not think about them because if I did, I’ll be reminded of how much I miss them. That’s why I hadn’t spoken to my parents for quite some time.
Asha was different. She would constantly think about her family who lives far away. She would phone and write to them whenever possible so she would always feel their presence. They were her rock.
I thought this was wonderful and was envious as well.
One day, I told Asha, “I want to be independent,” to which she replied, “What do you want to be independent from?” This question caught me off guard.
“For example, my family…”
“Why do you need to be independent from your family? Families are a unit, supporting and helping each other, loving each other, always. That’s what a family is all about. I don’t think being independent from them is a right concept. In fact, I think you should love your family more. Why do you not want to talk about your family so? They are a part of you, right? You love them, right? If you want to let others know who you are, you have to talk about your family more. To love you means to love your family, too.”
Asha was dead on. Now that I think about it, it was a strange concept to become independent from one’s family. It was true that I discovered myself having this strange conviction.
“Being independent is important, but that is just about that connection you have with society, and it shouldn’t be what you should subject your family to. Families are essential for humans to live as humans. It’s a place to come home to; it’s what you love, protect, and appreciate. I say this time and time again, I don’t love the individual person that is you but I love you and your family. That’s why I want you to love my family, and that’s why I tell you about them. You see what I mean?”
When Asha gets into this mode, she always holds both my hands and looks straight into my eyes.
“That’s why I think you should depend on your family more. Let them take care of you. Supporting each other in our respective lives is what a family is all about. I’m alone in New York now, but I share everything with them, so they know all about you, too. That’s why, even if I am physically alone, I can live, work, and follow my dreams like this…”

On that note, Asha gazed out the window and said,
“Have you ever thought about us being a family?”